This blog isn't narrated by Sarah Jessica Parker in my head but I'd love to know how she managed to make money from writing about the mundane. I'm happy to not make money but maybe accept donations of sneakers and technology or car parts would be handy. Handy as in helpful and not the german for mobile phone 'mein handy'.
When did we decide that suits were the thing to do so men can look professional? if your plumber came wearing a suit you may think he isn't going to do a good job. When I wear a suit I spend the day trying to fix the collar and try not to look like I'm entering an early guilty plea. I'd assume tailoring is essential but not many people have the physique to fill out suits properly. Does this cover my ankles, not touch the floor cover, my wrists but not my hands and hold onto my waist? Sold.
Suits are find if you're sitting down but you never go into a dress shop and see people miming tying a shoelace do you? They say "go for a walk. How does that feel?" To be honest it feels like I'm about to spend a large sum of money on cloths that aren't comfortable, make me look like I wasn't in the room when they were sized and will evidently look like a knob when I tie my shoelaces in.
Who decided? There was a meeting. All the business owners were there, Mr Cola, Dr Pepper and Colonel Sanders. At some point someone said, "our working men just look too darn comfortable. Surely we can make them feel awkward somehow without making them suspicious". After some deliberation they all came to the conclusion of when most boys feel awkward, school formals. And thats how the suit was made into the uniform of the professional.
My workplace has a corporate casual approach. I had to google it. Don't dress like a CEO, well you can but not one of a wealthy company. Well you can but not one of the really, really rich ones, because they wear jeans and thats just too casual. What is the corporate? where is the casual? I honestly don't understand and haven't for a long time while being able o dress in an appropriate manner. I can dress like a door to door insurance salesperson but not the CEO of a fortune 500 company? Which screams confidence and success, cheap and ill fitting Target polyester doesn't for me. Maybe I just have too expensive a taste in fashion (evident and laughable of you've ever met me). I believe its suit; sans tie and jacket (unless its cold and it becomes shirt, pants, shoes and pneumonia.
Why doesn't the flake come in a plastic tray to catch all the broken bits? Or why doesn't it come in smaller chunks to: 1. Prevent unnecessary breakage and 2. be more ice cream friendly. Did you ever just eat the flake as a kid? My dad never ate his flake. He was always very good about it. When the Twirl came out it should've been called Flake 2.0 because they just made the flake less messy to eat. Have you ever seen someone who can eat a flake without making a mess? I have, and its the same person who can eat a crumbly pie sans mess as well. Its unnerving to meet people who make you feel like you eat barnyard style.
Off for a flake (fetching the dustpan first)
I.M
Dear Cadbury please sponsor my blog with Twirl bars and bring back the Take 5.
Thank you
I.M
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