Not Heart Attack Me

I managed to ruin my wife's birthday. A rainy saturday with not much to do to keep a five year old busy I suggest a drive and pickup a takeaway drink on the way home as nothing is open for dine in. We are atop a local lookout facing the beach and said five year old is complaining about the universe.

I started to feel a pain on the lower left side of my chest, like a cramp. The pain was quite persistent and despite deep breathing it seemed to spread to the lower right side of my chest. As it was not going anywhere I decided the logical thing was to get moving and hope the situation would right itself if I did nothing (like Donald Trump).

I drove down the lookout road and did a lap of the marina where I had to pull over as the pain had now reached my right elbow and I was suddenly feeling very hot and needed to take my jacket off. I got out of the car and stretched to see if the cramp would consider a recommendation of sex and travel but it didn't.

The car resumed and things seemed to be calming down as I could still speak, I wasn't short of breath and I had good strength in both hands. We stopped for a romantic drive thru cookie at subway and upon my son's complaining about 'why cant we go look at the car wash brushes..." the cramp returned to my chest and now I could also feel it on the left side of my neck. I drove to the local medical centre of excellence and again tried stretching and even considered going in. Not wanting to be silly or waste anyones time I got back in the car and drove home.

On the way I described the feeling to Mrs I.M and we agreed I'd call Health Direct at home. To call said service one must first answer questions about symptoms to get the phone number via the website. After answering them the message was "GO IMMEDIATELY TO THE NEAREST E.D".

I opened with "Hi there, I'm sure its nothing but I had this pain in the left side of my chest and it went down my right arm and up my nec...."
"Buzz!!"
"Go in now".
Two ECGs, two enzyme tests (my right arm sprung a leak in the shower later that night from where than canula was in but I wasn't keen on people seeing me with less clothes. I was asked if I was stressed. My answer was "I did a poo yesterday and that gave me a headache." It was Mrs I.M's birthday and she spent it indoors from the cold and rain, in a car with a crying five year old and then in the coldest corner of the emergency dept with her stupid husband. Happy Birthday sweetheart.

I have been politely advised that I should de-stress for a while. With COVID-19, meetings until the end of time, no sport (to participate in, not really keen on watching TV sport) and less time to wear the "me suit" I can hardly see many opportunities to de-stress.

Work will give the traditional "do what you have to do" but in the past when I've said "OK, I'll have the rest of the year off on double pay," I seem to hit a roadblock.